Have you ever been in one of those places in your head where you kind of feel you should acknowledge you are achieving more than you are giving yourself credit for BUT you are not, you are focusing on the struggles, the tough stuff, the never ending list of anxieties to work on.
That's where I am today. I have been working on a play project and reading Screw work break free by John Williams. This led me to create this blog and I have come up with lots of ideas and began making a website and posting inspirational quotes on Instagram and Twitter. A lot more than I even thought I could achieve at the beginning. However, my aim of creating an App has fallen short due to my total lack of ability to make one lack of funds to pay someone to. Therefore, my whole final aim has been jeopardised as I don't really know what it is I am offering people now as a result of my project.
My strengths are my friendship abilities and my compassion and an in-depth knowledge of what it feels like to struggle with your mental health. And reading this book has definitely helped me realise these are valuable and maybe I am even glad they are my strengths. But how do I actually put this into something to help others? I am one of many, many on Instagram posting uplifting things. This is gaining me more 'likes' than anything else at the moment. It is just feeling like this is a far cry from what I need to be doing, I can’t offer to chat to everyone and I can’t promise any good results. So, who would show an interest? It is so frustrating as I am beginning to believe I can do this but I am at a wall a really big brick hard wall. I need to offer something people want and value but I cannot see how I can.
The anxiety inside me is telling me I can’t and making me procrastinate. What a fool I was to think I could do all this while having therapy and recovering. But it has helped me as I have stuck with it so far, I am only frustrated as I don't want it to come to an end so near to the end of the 30 days. So, I guess I do have drive in me. Surely drive and compassion are two of the best combinations? I'm really trying to type myself happy here. But it kind of works!
I am going to go and do my 20 minutes and give myself some direction. I want to do this to help others and be a friend to others, but I also want to show myself how much potential and talent I have and gain some self-confidence.
So, if anyone is feeling the same. Don't give up. Maybe write it all out like I have and find some positive. A vent box...now there’s an idea.....Let me know if and how it helps you
No comments:
Post a Comment