Tuesday 22 August 2017

Frustration - a cry for help

Frustration is my word of the day. The problem is in my position frustration can easily become anxiety, depression or dark thoughts.
I am frustrated, I feel at a stand still. I am unsure how to continue this blog, worried no one reads it and no one cares. What do I have to offer or say? I don't really know, that's a lie actually I do, I thought my skills lay in being compassionate and a good friend so have thought long and hard about how I could use this to help others, I have ideas but I need some help creating an App or website that will function in a way that allows me to offer support to others. I am searching course after course, contacting people but money and my own understanding of what I am reading is slowly killing my drive.

So instead of endlessly going around in circles I am writing this, writing it out of my system. Sorry this must all be so boring to read but something happens when I write, I read back how I am feeling and I want to sound more positive and say to myself the kind of advice I give to others but never follow for myself. If I was reading this I would say take a breather, have a day off from it, then go back fresh and just choose a single task and only work on that.
This sounds like good advice for life in general, or for anxiety in general! take a breather when you need but come back and try again, break it down into small tasks and reward yourself for all the achievements.

I will persevere then, I  am still unclear what my next step will be, but I have been in this place so many times in my life, had strategies that I have believed will cure me, change my life, make it all better. Then after a few weeks they ease off and I find it hard to sustain the enthusiasm. I think I believed I was pathetic and not good enough. I don't think that's true anymore. (I need a pep talk right now so I am giving it to myself) So I will find a way through my current problems and not let them defeat me. Maybe one day I will look back at this post and it will have been my defining moment. I guess that will be down to what I do next. Thanks for listening to the rambles of a frustrated, anxious young women who has her whole world in front of her but struggles to see it.

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